It has been an incredibly long weekend and we have made some truly wonderful, beautiful memories. The birthday balloon celebration coordinated by my friend Susie was fantastic and truly a surprise for Cleve. We've had some wonderful visits with friends, and an awesome "unplugged" private acoustical show put on by Dr's Holderman, Bobek and Eaton that brought tears to our eyes. It was truly amazing to see these musicians put their heart and souls into singing and playing for us. I can't thank you guys enough.

With all that activity, Cleve has actually been handling it pretty well. However we cannot maintain that level either. As a family, which includes my big burly guys helping me with caregiving we are deciding to dramatically reduce the amount of visits we receive and when a visit does occur it will be for a very short time. We all know Cleve and how much he likes to be around people, unfortunately he needs his rest too. When we have too much going on, he tends to be hyper vigilant and cannot relax, which is the opposite of what we need. Whether it is effects of the medication or due to the progression of the disease (I think it's a combination of both) Cleve has been increasingly confused and can get agitated easily. He does have his clear moments of thought, and it is these times that we, as a family, would like to take advantage of. We still have some things to talk about and do which require him to have a lucid period of time. Among these things are writing letters to the kids to be opened at a later date, discussing certain personal effects he would like the children to have, and simply spending time alone as a family. While commotion can be a wonderful distraction, we need to enjoy every last moment together.

Many have asked how the children are doing, and the short answer is that they are doing as well as can be expected. I have talked with them, they know daddy has an illness that cannot be cured and that he will be joining grandma up in heaven. I have been completely open and honest with them, answering any questions they have and holding them and wiping away their tears. By being open and honest the kids are not afraid to be around daddy and even feel free to ask him questions which is also therapeutic for Cleve as well. Because of this we are able to go on as a family and even laugh and be silly. Unfortunately I am having to witness, especially Walker, having to grow up and experience grown up feelings at a much to early age. But I am so impressed with how he is handling the situation, with understanding, caring, and compassion, and even some stoicism. I think thats pretty amazing for a seven year old. And in Gavin, I can see him coping by his willingness to be around daddy and climb on him and give hugs and kisses. For a five year old, seeing his dad in a hospital bed in the living room, I would imagine that would be pretty scary. I have two incredibly amazing little boys.

Hospice care has been absolutely wonderful as well. I can't thank the nurses enough for being there. They never ever make me feel bad or stupid for calling with questions, and when they visit, they seem like part of the family too. They have made this huge transition very easy. They are a remarkable breed of people who do this for a living with such little recognition. Denise, Barb and Brenda...you are truly wonderful individuals. Thank you.