Hospice

Today we got the news that nobody wants to hear. Dr. Poisson asked to meet with both Cleve and I. When he arrived he performed tests on Cleve's vision and neurologic function with the outcomes coinciding with his suspicions that he does in fact have cancer cells in his cerebral fluid. I can't remember the name he called it but it was something like carcinoma meningitis. Basically this is cancer cells in the fluid surrounding his brain and spinal column. He conferred with several of his colleagues as well as Dr. Hwu down in Houston, and even though the spinal tap was negative, the clinical findings are positive. I could tell he was having as hard of time delivering the news to us as we were receiving it. Unfortunately there are no options for us at this point. We could do whole brain and spinal radiation with very toxic side effects, and this would only be to reduce the pain he has in his head, neck and back area. Instead we opted to control his pain through medication. We are hoping to have him home tomorrow and enlist the help of hospice.

Ive broken the news to several friends and family, but the hardest thing I have ever had to do was have this discussion with my children. It is something a parent should never have to talk to their small children about. Gavin, I think understands to a point but doesn't know what to do with the information while Walker is reacting a bit more like I would expect. Unfortunately this isn't the end and there are many more emotions to come. My poor babies.